


Nothing She Can Do About It

by Kitkat3011



Series: What they don't know [2]
Category: Derry Girls (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Mutual Pining, erin's thoughts, just as oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22423138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitkat3011/pseuds/Kitkat3011
Summary: Erin is completely oblivious to her own feelings, how is she meant to understand everyone else's especially the wee English Fella's?Follow up to James little monologue thing.
Relationships: James Maguire/Erin Quinn
Series: What they don't know [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1613656
Comments: 10
Kudos: 78





	Nothing She Can Do About It

**Author's Note:**

> This took me so long I'm sorry! thank you to everyone who left kudos and comments on the first part!

Erin doesn’t notice him at first.

He was just awkward, following behind Michelle like a lost puppy so Erin paid him no attention, especially considering David Donnelly, the David Donnelly had invited her specially to his show. Anyway the point is when this weird, English fella showed up Erin Quinn had absolutely no interest. Erin Quinn still, to this day, has absolutely no interest. Not one bit. Not even when he took her to prom with a hand on her lower back- no interest. And that is the way it will be staying as far as she is concerned.

Erin doesn’t know what makes her defend him.

After a while the constant onslaught of comments seemed to drain her, so she couldn’t begin to understand what it was like for him. Michelle was on one of her typical “fucking English” rants that wasn’t so subtly aimed at her very English cousin. James remained calm the entire time never rising to it. Erin respected that but that didn’t mean she had to like it.  
“Ach Michelle just leave him alone, last time I checked he didn’t murder your great great Granda and even if he had, you share a Granda,” the minute the words escaped her lips she felt a blush rising in her cheeks.  
“What are you supporting him for?” Michelle had a look of pure anger or maybe it was shock or a mix of both in a sickening way painted across her face. Everyone fell silent and Erin felt like she was drowning. It didn’t mean anything, she defends all her friends and sometimes Michelle was just such a mouth and if Erin didn’t stop her no one ever would. At least that’s what she told herself. Swallowing a lump she didn’t realise had formed, she rolled her eyes and walked away mumbling something about getting a snack from the vending machines.  
She chose to ignore James’ eyes following her.

Erin doesn’t know why she laughs every time he makes a joke.

She has to admit he’s funny but it’s getting to an extreme when she’s the only one doubled over laughing at a mildly funny joke. She tries to blame it on exhaustion once or twice like she doesn’t even know what she’s doing. Sadly, excuses don’t really stand up well with the Derry girls and Erin’s learning the hard way if you don’t get whatever you’re feeling into check, you’re going to get caught.

Erin is afraid to find out why her heart hammers in her chest every time he touches her.

She’s sure he doesn’t mean it. A light brush of their hands as they walk. Their shoulders leaning into each other when there is no room on the couch. It’s all accidental- innocent. Erin can’t- won’t- corrupt such a simple action between friends because that’s what they are: friends. The kind of friends where if you need a quick power nap the other is perfectly happy to let you sleep on their shoulder. Their really nice smelling shoulder. That you definitely shouldn’t think about in the middle of a history test.  
At least that’s the mantra Erin repeats to herself.

Erin pointedly ignores other girls.

At an all girls school, boys are typically a rarity. So despite the whole English thing, James has found himself being admired by plenty of girls across the school (not including Erin. She’s not one of those girls.) They are always coming up to them when they are peacefully eating lunch, with a pathetic “Hi James” or a little wave that makes Erin want to boke. Honestly, she pities them. They don’t know what a dork James is deep down with his creep convention and stupid jokes or the little smile he does when he thinks no one is looking because he likes it here really. They’ll never know that James and if they did they wouldn’t like him. Then that nagging voice she really needs to silence shows up again:  
‘they’d probably be in love with him’ 

Erin doesn’t notice herself hating one girl in particular.

Ashley O’brien was a special type of irritating. She had this flowing, auburn hair down her back and flawless skin which would be completely grand if it wasn’t for the fact that she totally knew she was stunning. Being pretty is one thing, going on and on about it is a different story. James seemed to like her. James seemed to like her too much and Erin couldn’t help the constant little digs that escaped her mouth.  
“She failed that maths test.”  
“I heard she’s been with half the lads in Derry.”  
He’d roll his eyes and point out that a few months ago Erin was desperate to be friends with her. He never seemed to realise that a few months ago was when he started to fill out and Ashley O’brien’s pretty head turned in his direction. That put an end to Erin’s wish for friendship.  
She was all over him. With pens between her teeth and a hand on his bicep as if she casually did this all the time. However Erin could see right through that little act. Each move was premeditated like a big cat after her prey; well Erin would be damned if she’d let James become that wee bitch’s prey.  
The excuses started rolling from her tongue then, as easy and natural as if they were true. One day she needed homework help and “well James is the English one- he knows Shakespeare best-” despite that being totally false (Orla is actually the best at the Shakespeare, she likes the fact that the words are in a funny order) he helped her anyway. The next night she promised to baby sit Anna and she can’t get through that alone and since everyone else is busy James would have to do. Again he cancelled on an increasingly impatient Ashley.  
That weekend they had all planned a camping trip “Did you not remember?”. No he didn’t because Erin was (agin) lying through her teeth. Everyone went along with it because they were most likely drunk when they made the plans. It rained for two solid nights.  
By the time James told Erin no more, he was going on this date no matter what Erin had to say for whatever reason she had to say it, it was too late. Ashely had moved on with Sean Murphy.  
Erin made sure to shoot her a glare every so often just to make the situation clear.  
She never stopped to wonder why James cancelled every time.

Erin doesn’t know when she started talking him up to her Granda.

Her Granda was a bit mean to James, even worse than Michelle at times, so she assumed she was just doing him a favour to make his time at the Quinn house a bit more bearable. He was over a lot, it was the least she could do. Every so often she’d make a comment about how James wasn’t so bad; mention a nice thing he said or did. Mostly, her Granda would just grunt a bit of acknowledgement not too interested in talking about lads with his granddaughter, who was still a little girl as far as he was concerned. Until one night he called her over to his arm chair.  
“Erin why do you keep talking about the wee English fella?” He gave her a pointed look and motioned for her to perch on the arm of the chair.  
“I didn’t realise I was Granda.” She didn’t quite meet his eye.  
He patted her hand, not wanting to push the subject and embarrass the wain or get her to realise any feelings- Granda Joe has no desire for her to realise any feelings.  
That’s when he started clocking James every time he came over. He tried not to enjoy the terrified look that entered his eyes every time he did so. He tried…but he’s not a saint.

Erin doesn’t want to know what her family knows.

The looks they share when James asks her for the salt. The way her mother smiles when they walk out together. The way her father pats his shoulder when he sees him. There’s a sense of familiarity that everyone but Erin seems to understand. Her whole family have grown used to him. Anna absolutely adores him and clamours to see him whenever she’s around. Erin was quite disgusted with the wave of jealousy that flowed through her when he held her baby sister to his chest. Come on she’s a wain she’d hissed to herself but even then when she knew there was obviously no way James would be sprinting off to marry her sister, she couldn’t help but wish it was her pressing her head into his shoulder.

Erin wishes he would dance with her every night.

In the middle of summer, the group had gone traipsing over the hills at night. It was cool but they weren’t cold: the laughter kept that at bay. Michelle had had a bit too much vodka, again, and was boking in a bush. To give Michelle a bit more dignity than she currently had, they flopped down on the grass and looked up to the night sky, every where around them silent like they were the only people in the world. That is until Orla started singing ‘Can you feel the love tonight’ (She really enjoyed ‘The Lion King’ it was cracker how they trained the lions to speak’). Clare joined in, humming the tune along to Orla’s singing that was in desperate need for autotune, her eyes pressed together letting the cool breeze run across her face. Erin was tempted to join in until she felt something gripping her hand and pulling her up to her feet. A squeal escaped her lips but it soon turned into a laugh when James spun her out. He gripped her hands in his and they started swaying a mix between a waltz and an Irish jig. Their laughter nearly drowned out the music being made by their equally drunk friends. When the swaying slowed to basically standing on the spot in each others arms they either didn’t notice or didn’t care that the lyrics had turned to snores. Instead they stood there locked into each other, gently moving back and forth to imaginary music. The smell of his cologne clouded her senses and she would follow him blindly into the dark if that was her way of guiding herself through it. His hand strummed gently along her back almost as if he were desperate to touch her more but terrified of the outcome. One thing was for certain though:  
Erin never wanted to listen to another song again.

Erin desperately wanted his jacket.

When he’d slipped it off allowing her to wrap herself in it, she was prepared to never give it back, to come up with yet another excuse like “it suits me better.” But then she realised that after a while it would lose that signature James smell and that was the whole reason to have the jacket in the first place. So she resigned herself to the one night. The one night where the equivalent of James was wrapped around her. Everyone else was too drunk to notice, James didn’t even think to ask for it back he was so drunk. Instead Erin spent her night imagining someone else’s arms in the denim and herself in someone else’s arms.

Erin can’t understand why he’s able to make her cry.

No matter what he does there seems to be some kind of invisible hold on her. He can smile and tears can form for what she can’t have (not that she wants it) or he can say something snappy and she’ll want to curl up into a ball for weeks and never move in case she feels like that again. James Maguire was talented she’d give him that.  
When he made his thoughts on John Paul perfectly clear, like a knife to the heart she never knew James, the nice one of their group had it in him.  
“Well if he actually liked you Erin he’d be here now wouldn’t he, but he’s not he’s out poking a model, so there’s no use going on about it.” She can still hear it echo. The crashing realisation that even James can see how pathetic she is and not even he would want to be with her. Then the second wave that should be smaller but actually seemed like a tsunami in comparison: she wished that James wanted to be with her.  
Instead she was crying salty tears in her bed while Clare told her John Paul was really busy when all she wanted to scream was: James isn’t.  
When Michelle said Erin had more chance with John Paul than James had with any girl ever she wanted to drown it all out because all Erin wanted was James to sit there on her bed and tell her it was ok.  
She loves Michelle and Clare but sometimes you need one friend than others and today she definitely needed James. Despite the fact that he was the one causing her to feel this way.  
Sometimes she forgets that he’s a lad and is just as confusing as all of the others and just as blind.

Erin chooses not to listen to the nagging voice in her head.

When it tells her James chose her over Doctor who.  
When it tells her maybe James was jealous over John Paul.  
When it tells her he was barely drunk when he let her keep the jacket.  
When it tells her sometimes he stares at her just as long as she stares at him.  
When it tells her to maybe just ask him how he feels.

Erin does know that she fancies James Maguire.

She won’t admit it. She’d rather die. But he seems to have some sort of hold on her that won’t seem to shake. She also knows there is no way James likes her back and there is nothing she can do about it.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking of doing one piece of work for everyone's different feelings on the matter since people seemed interested in that especially Granda Joe's but thats because he's an absolute legend


End file.
